Madonna Shares Photo from Pregnancy on Mother's Day

Madonna had a reflective Mother's Day. Thinking about her late mother Madonna Louise Ciccone, the pop star, 64, penned an Instagram post about how missing her after her death when the "Material Girl" singer was just 5 impacted her own road to motherhood.

Madonna had a reflective Mother's Day.

Thinking about her late mother Madonna Louise Ciccone, the pop star, 64, penned an Instagram post about how missing her after her death when the "Material Girl" singer was just 5 impacted her own road to motherhood.

"I miss my mother every day And have fantasized for decades of what it must be like to have a mother to: call on for help, guidance, care And wisdom and yet I rejected the idea of being a mother well into my 30s because I associated motherhood with sacrifice suffering and ultimately death and I wanted none of that," she wrote.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Explaining that she emulated "radical women like Frida Kahlo, Martha Graham, and George O'Keeffe," the pop icon thought she would be childless.

"When I finally did become a mother, I was astonished at how grounded I felt but also dazed and confused as to how I would figure out the balancing act between being a good mother and an uncompromising artist," she continued.

Madonna is mom to twins Estere and Stella, 10, Mercy, 16, David, 17, Rocco, 22, and Lourdes, 26.

Madonna/Instagram

"I walked through many years half-blind and made many mistakes along the way. Because Every mother knows there are no manuals or rule books to follow. You just have to dive in and figure it out. I have Experienced my highest highs and my lowest lows as a Mother. No one could have prepared me."

She later added, "To say that I am Proud of my children sounds arrogant or implies ownership. Better to say that they are all shining stars, and I'm happy that their souls chose me to be their mother."

"And dear Mother…wherever you are. I hope you are happy with your grandchildren!! I often imagine you singing and dancing with us in the kitchen ! ♥️"

ncG1vNJzZmiolaS9rbGNnKamZ6CWv6a606xmppmUpLuvrYypn6isn2Kzs7vMZqernZejrq%2Bv2GapnpuRobm0edGomJ1lnaTBqbHRoaaonF2ivLW0xKuqZpyRrnw%3D

 Share!